Friday, April 27, 2012

What Aunt Flo Has Taught Me About Being Gluten Intolerant (And About Life In General)

Welcome to TMIville. Population = me and you, my temporary hostages. I promise to let you go, but you may not leave unscathed.

Today I want to talk about what ...umm... being female has taught me about gluten intolerance. 

Here it is: Go with the flow. 

You'll have good days, you'll have less good days. You might even have bloaty days. Do what you can to keep yourself as comfortable as possible and learn to embrace variability. 

TGIF, homies. 

Monday, April 23, 2012

We don't need gluten, we have Ryan Gosling

It's Monday, and I wish it was a fun-day, but my friend JanieLiz19 gave me a link to here, which gave me a link to here, which is our very own gluten-free Ryan Gosling Hey Girl meme

Eeeee! So dreamy! And gluten-free-friendly!
So to recap, JanieLiz likes sharks, not gluten. And we glutards are real enough to have our own small take on an internet sensation. 

Hope this alleviates your case of the Mondays!

PS: There is/was a Ryan Gosling (bio)statistics meme. This means we glutards are beating the dead horse with the statisticians of the world.  

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Gluten-Free-Friendly Sick Food

I'm not going to lie: One of the pleasures of being sick in my past life was Campbell's Goldfish chicken noodle soup with an inappropriate number of saltines crushed into it. That was the ultimate comfort food: warm, salty, mild, slightly absurd, but adorable. 

Now that I'm a glutard, my sick foods of choice have changed a bit. Instead of buying a can of chicken noodle soup, I now make my own Beat-the-Bastard-Bug Broth. Bug-Beating Broth is very simple -- easy enough that you can make it even when a bunch of gnomes are pick-axing your head or when you discover that a snot Nile has sprung forth from your face. 

Bug-Beating Broth (a more detailed description of what I described here)
Step 1: Put some broth on the stove. Preferably in a saucepan, not directly on the stove. You can use actual broth or bouillon cubes to make broth. Whatever you have the capacity to do. 
Step 2: Add parsley, pepper, dried onion flakes, and garlic powder to taste.
Step 3: Toss some fun, fast cooking gluten-free noodles in. I like these because they soften in 4 minutes: Schar Anellini. I also like them because I imagine I'm eating a thousand tiny life saving floaty devices. (Note: boiling the noodles directly in the broth might make your soup milky from the starches that cook off. If you aren't so sick, cook your pasta in a separate pot of water and toss it in at the end for a min. If you're super sick, don't waste precious energy that could be spent overcoming illness.)
Alternate Step 3: Microwave some frozen green beans. Toss them into the broth instead of the noodles. It might sound weird, but it tastes fine. Plus, sometimes it is nice to have a vegetable. 
Step 4: Simmer until you're bored standing there looking at it.

Warning: New Content Below!
In addition to recycling a blog post that I just remembered that I already wrote because I am apparently obsessed with my hobo soup, lets also talk about what happens when you're digestively unwell. For most people, this calls for crackers and toast. In lieu of gluten-free versions of those things because they are prohibitively expensive, I've found that original Baked Lay's potato chips make a great stand-in for crackers. They're absorbant, slightly salty, and come in a giant bag so you can eat a lot of them. I'm also a huge fan of Trader Joe's Wheat Free Waffles. They're kind of dense compared to other g-free waffles, but they're also absorbant and mild. Plus, they're affordable since TJ's doesn't upcharge them for being g-free. And you can always have bananas and wash it all down with gatorade or powerade. 

I'm going to stop before I re-blog something else. I hope you stay healthy!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Why I'm A Better Person Without Gluten

I briefly stepped away from the blogosphere to tend to my newfound carpal tunnel syndrome, but fear not because I am back. Both of my wrists have been irritated, because when I go, I go hard. I'm not quite 100% yet, but I'm enough % to write about the thing that was on my mind a couple of weeks ago. 

Perhaps one of the best things about developing gluten intolerance was that it helped me become a better person. I like to imagine that I was considerate before, but I feel like I am more tuned in to other people now. Having personal experience with being left out from basic social activities like eating has helped me be more attentive to others. I now make more of an effort to ensure that everyone has something to eat and seems generally comfortable/welcome when I socialize. I'm also more conscious of not letting my knee-jerk reaction dominate my thoughts about a person or topic. The skepticism that I encountered in the early days of my intolerance reflected my own misanthropy back at me. It was not a pretty reflection, but I've been working on cleaning off that mirror since. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm getting closer. I'm growing in ways that I could have easily avoided if I had continued to interact with the world like I used to, so I am thankful for that silver lining.